Saturday, May 27, 2017

Two Months More to Live!

'Sweetheart' peeking into my bedroom window
Pet 'Violet' sneaking a peek
With stage 4 low-grade ovarian cancer, as probably with most cancers, we can't help but sneak a peek at our life expectancy:
Google "Estimated life expectancy."  
Find the recent research on low-grade ovarian cancer. Double-check it, cross-reference it, find friends in the field.. .
For me, my life expectancy is STILL July 2017. 

 It's May 2017 now. Almost June. Eeek!  Two months to go! (if that).

From the outside view, I seem pretty bouncy.  I'm certainly Not Dead Yet.

After a few weeks with my new kidney stent, I'm back to out-walking my peers again.. . I pause while they catch up at the various hospital check-in desks, I slow down to accommodate their pace. 
CB is easy to be with. . .
And then half a day into it all they are pleased to be as helpful as they had hoped to be, and fulfill their goals of truly helping a friend who wants nothing more than to SLEEP after her clinical-trial Nivolumab infusion. And they drive me 6 hours to get me home again.  
Love them!
I drive most of them nuts. .


I LOVE my friends.  And I can't believe how many truly great friends I have.  
Somewhere I missed how that happened.  

Often it was just TIME that happened.  Our friendships were forged gradually, without our really being aware of it.
Our kids are no longer friends!
With some friends, we got on well while our kids were best friends, who then decided not to be, or just went other ways.  Mommies maintaining friendships despite kids' fickle and temporary alliances

Our kids went to preschool together
But I have other friends that came well before my mommy years and are still as steadfast. And how, in my frenzied youth, did I luck into the fabulous friends I have known since then?
And my Newer friends--Wow!   
Prisky and I at Yogaville



I forgot how to REALLY laugh until K came back (from 1982?).

When I go for my clinical trial infusion out-of-state and 6 hours away, I go with a different friend every time.   A friend that's close enough to want to do the trip. A friend that's generous enough to work with my colostomy issues. And who is ready and able to meet any unexpected medical emergency.  And who can share a bed. And who is really fun for a long drive, dinner out, and a jammie party as we tuck into the hotel. FUN STUFF!!

I am truly honored by how many friends I have that help me and know me intimately.  And that's just the tip of the iceberg!  I have lots of friends who ask and try to help but I never take them up on it.  But they WOULD help, and want to, so it's just as helpful, really!  

And my family puts early 1970's TV families to shame. In a NICE way.
Me and Dad

My on-flight sister caregiver
    
To deal with cancer we need to live and let love. . or die and let live? Or love and live let? or live love or. . . and let love and life . .? Hah!      2 months to live

Does the wording of a prayer or a blessing count more than the thought of the blessing or the love that goes with it?
Please bless me, however it works for you, it's all appreciated.  

Hubby in my chemo chair?
We've decided to drop the current clinical trial (Nivolumab).  Didn't work for us, although it is a lifesaver for Many.
Too much tumor growth. Time to quit.

One more cancer treatment bites the dust. Worth a shot, though!!
No regrets whatsoever on trying that one.

Next is hormone therapy (tamoxifen) and if THAT doesn't work, we go for the new stuff: Cancer virus vaccine.  They take the smallpox vaccine, modify it genetically, then send it off to your cancer cells.  Which somehow theoretically will all die off while leaving all healthy cells intact.  
Hmm. . .My low-grade ovarian cancer cells are frighteningly similar to normal cells. Which is why I'm only dying slowly. Which makes them hard-to-get.  Which also means that any cancer-killer that gets THEM I suspect could also kill my regular, normal cells.

So please Bless Me twice.

Upper colon has been shutting down all week, every day has been a gamble of whether I'll check in to UVA cancer ward that evening or not.
A tumor is munching into my lower colon like a Pac-Man, and it looks as if my gall bladder will soon be a cancer-cell appetizer.  To help ready the cancer masses for the Big Entrees (Lungs, Liver, etc). Munch munch munch.

And yet, I'm STILL feeling pretty good. . .  GREAT, actually, (when I'm not feeling bad).
Kids are doing great, health is well enough so hubby can get back to work without too much worry, I think I need to get my bike out.  
 
Got my veggie garden started. . .Hoed, raked, planted. . .

 
Veggie Garden!  Wow.    I see the Shadow of Me sliding into it.  Kind of Creepy, huh? 
Let's see what the next 2 months brings.  . . Me and my shadow are right at the edge. . . 
Oh no, not really 2 months. . .it's only 5 weeks until July 2017.

15 comments:

  1. Sweetie, I didn't comment a long time ago because, what is there to say?
    Well, I don't accept this. And if I'm wrong, I'll still don't accept it willingly, because you are one of the wonderful things that makes the world a better place. When I think of you, I smile because you make me happy. Love and hugs and hope.

    ReplyDelete
  2. montymiff! Without comments, I had no way of knowing that you were even still reading! See those tomato cages in the photo? After 2 years of blight, I'm going on your advice to stop blight.
    You don't need to "accept" that I'll keel over, nor will I, until it happens. . . but if I survive July, I REALLY need help ensuring that my tomato crop comes in.
    Some people die and they give scholarships and libraries and Foundations. I'll be happy to bring a few tomatoes and eggs to neighbors to whom they make a difference. But, selfishly, I REALLY want to slurp hot tomatoes straight from the vine as I work my garden.
    My gardening pro, montymiff, will help that to happen. . .

    ReplyDelete
  3. Great pics - especially you and your Dad! I hope you enjoy hot tomatoes this year. xxx

    ReplyDelete
  4. Jenny, your photo should have been up there too.
    Beautiful friend who snuggled into bed with me in the chilly British house in April. And we flipped through the photos on your phone and sent selfies to friends whom we had when we were 10 and who are still friends now. And who sent selfies back! Yay!
    You make life beautiful. It's just your way.
    We might forget what exactly Karl Marx was trying to say,
    You gotta kind of wonder if maybe an entire social idealism was destined for one result. Little is left of Marxism. Most people these days couldn't even actually tell you what Marxism IS. And in 2017 probably few people are talking about Karl Marx on any level. I'm biased, I just see a beautiful quote that lives on.. .
    Marx once said, "Art is not as beautiful as Jenny."
    And I think, when you look at what remains after social ideologies come, fail, revive, fail. . .In essence, we all gear back to the people in our lives, and their stories invariably last longer than time and politics.

    You have enough beautiful in you to cut through time. I am honored to be your friend.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Leslie, you are too kind!! Not sure if I deserve such comments, but it's gratifying to hear them nonetheless! Thank you. You have a big heart, able to overflow with giving out to others, despite all you're going through. It was lovely to reconnect with you in your father's Surrey home and share tales of old times... I'm honoured to have you as a friend too!! xxx

    ReplyDelete
  6. i love the snacking reference. Leslie as a buffet table. Do you remember the Seinfeld episode with the soup Nazi. You should be like him and tell cancer NO LESLIE FOR YOU. thank you cancer for your interest but we really are going to have to ask you to leave. Jennifer and Boris are sleeping. now i have the song "That's what friends are for" in my head. loads of love from Vermont

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for being a fantastic friend too, Maura!

      Delete
  7. Leslie,

    Thank you.
    You helped me to understand.
    I am powerless.
    And this, is not my cross to bear.
    I am powerless.
    And the burden is lifted.
    No, cancer doesn’t clear.
    And addiction does not float away.
    But I do what I can.
    I take steps to make a difference.
    I do the footwork.
    I have faith.
    I will be alright.
    I will be alright, whatever happens.
    I will be alright.
    Leslie,
    Thank you for reminding me what matters.
    The love we share.
    The love we share even when we are not there to share it with each other.
    I know this prayer:
    Now I lay me down to sleep.
    I pray the lord my soul to keep.
    And if I die before I wake
    I pray the lord my soul to take.
    Leslie,
    I make this addition for you.
    Now I lay me down to sleep
    I pray the lord my soul to keep
    And if I wake before I die
    I pray the lord my soul to fly.
    Leslie,
    Thank you, for
    WAKING ME UP

    ReplyDelete
  8. Chemicals used in industries gives me Leukemia Cancer and it's all started when I wanted to get off my job to get another job that when I got diagnose, at that very point I was so scared to die because it has infected my blood cells also I was prescribed drugs like Cyclophosphamide,Busulfan,Bosutinib,Cytarabine, Cytosar-U (Cytarabine),Dasatinib in all that was just to keep me waiting for my dying day. I got inspired by what I read from a lady called Tara Omar on blog spot on how Dr Itua cure her HIV/Aids then they were lettered below that says he can cure Cancer so I pick his contact on the testimony she wrote then I emailed Dr Itua hopefully he replied swiftly to my mail then I purchased his Herbal medicine also it was shipped to me here in Texas, I went to pick it at post office so he instructs me on how the treatment will take me three weeks to cure my Leukemia Disease, Joyfully I was cured by this Dr Itua Herbal Medicine.
    I will advise you too to give a try to Dr Itua Herbal Medicine with the following diseases that he can help you cure forever___Diabetes, Herpes,HIV/Aids, Bladder Cancer, Breast Cancer, Vaginal Cancer, Kidney Cancer, Lung Cancer, Skin Cancer, Uterine Cancer, Prostate Cancer, Colo_Rectal Cancer, Leukemia Cancer, Hepatitis, Brain Tumors, Tach Disease,Love Spell, Infertility, Hpv. GoodLuck,XoXo****
    Dr Itua Contact Information:::
    Email (info@drituaherbalcenter.com)(drituaherbalcenter@gmai.com)
    WhatsApp-(+2348149277967)

    ReplyDelete
  9. I was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer in August 2010. A valuable friend told me about Dr. Itua Herbal Center in West Africa. She gave me her phone number and email address. I quickly contacted him to guarantee that his herbal medicines will heal my cancer and I will heal forever I said OK.I ask him what is the healing process, he asks me to pay the fees I did and within 7 working days he sent me the herbal medicine and then he asked me I told my friend Gomez about the herbal drug so that he gave me to go and drink it.So after drinking for two weeks, I was cured, I am so grateful and I promise that I will do it I recommend to anyone who has cancer and that that I am doing. Herbal medicine Dr. Itua makes me believe that there is hope for people with Parkinson's disease, schizophrenia, scoliosis, bladder cancer, colorectal cancer, breast cancer, kidney cancer. , Leukemia, lung cancer, skin cancer, uterine cancer, prostate cancer Fibromyalgia,
    Fibrodysplasia Syndrome, Epilepsy,Sclerosis sickness, Dupuytren's Disease, Diabetes, Celiac Disease, Angiopathy, Ataxia, Arthritis, Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis, Alzheimer's Disease, Lupus, Adrenocortic Carcinoma.Asthma, Allergic Diseases.HIV Help, Bladder cancer,Brain cancer,Esophageal cancer,Gallbladder cancer,Gestational trophoblastic disease,Head and neck cancer,Hodgkin lymphoma
    Intestinal cancer,Liver cancer,Melanoma,Mesothelioma,Multiple myeloma,Neuroendocrine tumors
    Non-Hodgkin lymphoma,Cervical Cancer,Oral cancer,Ovarian cancer,Sinus cancer,Soft tissue sarcoma,Spinal cancer,Stomach cancer
    ,Testicular cancer,Throat cancer,Meniere's disease,Thyroid Cancer,Vaginal cancer,Vulvar cancer
    HIV Aids, Herpes, Disease Chronic inflammatory, Memory disorder,
     Here is his contact information ...... [Email ... drituaherbalcenter@gmail.com. Whatsapp ... + 2348149277967]

    ReplyDelete
  10. There are some natural remedies that can be used in the prevention and elimination of diabetes totally. However, the single most important aspect of a diabetes control plan is adopting a wholesome lifestyle Inner Peace, Nutritious and Healthy Diet, and Regular Physical Exercise. A state of inner peace and self-contentment is essential to enjoying a good physical health and overall well-being. The inner peace and self contentment is a just a state of mind.People with diabetes diseases often use complementary and alternative medicine. I was diagnosed with diabetes .It was at work and  feeling unusually tired and sleepy. I borrowed a cyclometer from a co-worker and tested at 760. Went immediately to my doctor and he gave me prescriptions like: Insulin ,Sulfonamides,Thiazolidinediones but Could not get the cure rather to reduce the pain but bring back the pain again. i found a woman testimony name Comfort online how Dr Akhigbe cure her HIV  and I also contacted the doctor and after I took his medication as instructed, I am now completely free from diabetes by doctor Akhigbe herbal medicine.So diabetes patients reading this testimony to contact his email     drrealakhigbe@gmail.com   or his Number   +234 802  501 2866   He also use his herbal herbs to diseases like:SPIDER BITE, SCHIZOPHRENIA, LUPUS,EXTERNAL INFECTION, COMMON COLD, JOINT PAIN, EPILEPSY,STROKE,TUBERCULOSIS ,STOMACH DISEASE. ECZEMA, GOUT, PROGENITOR, EATING DISORDER, LOWER RESPIRATORY INFECTION,  DIABETICS,HERPES,HIV/AIDS, ;ALS,  CANCER , TUMOR MENINGITIS,HEPATITIS A AND B,ASTHMA, HEART DISEASE, CHRONIC DISEASE. NAUSEA VOMITING OR DIARRHEA,KIDNEY DISEASE. HEARING  LOSSDr Akhigbe is a good man and he heal anybody that comes to him. here is email    drrealakhigbe@gmail.com    and his Number +234 901 075 4824

    ReplyDelete
  11. I was diagnose April 17,2015 and find out I'm HIV positive.I was scared because there is no cure for HIV/AIDS but today some people still don't believe that there is cure for HIV, it can only be cured through Africans root and herbs,and our doctor's here in USA few of them know about the African herbal medicine can cure Hiv but they chooses to hide it from us just to make a sales of medical expertise. I did a research online finding way to get rid of my disease,I saw a comment about a herbal doctor on internet Name Dr itua ,who has cured several disease with his powerful herbal medicine, I contacted him on whats-app, chat with him explain my self to him.He said he can cure hiv perfectly well , he gave me his request which i send to him. within 5 days he sent me the herbal medicine through ups courier delivering service And told me how to take the medicine for 2 weeks to get cured,I did for 2 weeks, within this 7 days  i notice a very big change in my health and i new some thing great has happened then i went to confirm my result after finishing the herbal medicine for two weeks it was absolutely negative.The doctor who new i was hiv positive was asking me how come i am negative, what did it took to get cure and were did i get this medicine from and how did i get rid of it I told him every thing about the herbal medicine that cure me. imagine doctor telling me not to let anyone know about it,I wasn't shock though i knew they know about the herbal cure but chose to hide it in other to make sales on medicals expertise,if you are HIV positive Or other disease such as,Sickle Cell,Cancer,Hiv,Herpes,Shingles, Hepatitis B,Liver Inflammatory,Diabetes,Fibroid,Parkinson's,Alzheimer’s disease,Bechet’s disease,Crohn’s disease,Cushing’s disease,Heart failure,Multiple Sclerosis ,Epilepsy Dupuytren's disease,Desmoplastic small-round-cell tumor Diabetes ,Coeliac disease, Ataxia,Arthritis,Amyotrophic Lateral Scoliosis,Syndrome Fibrodysplasia Ossificans ProgresS sclerosis,Seizures,Adrenocortical carcinoma.Asthma,Allergic diseases,,Copd,Glaucoma., Cataracts,Macular degeneration,Cardiovascular disease,Lung disease.Enlarged prostate,Osteoporosis.Autism,Fibromyalgia,Fluoroquinolone Toxicity,Dementia.,Lyme Disease,,Non Hodgkin Lymphoma,Skin Cancer,Uterine Cancer,Prostate Cancer Dercum,Lupus,Hpv,Weak Erection,Infertility,fibromyalgia,Chronic Diarrhea,Get Your Ex Back,Als,SYPHILIS,Colo-Rectal Cancer,Blood Cancer,Breast CANCER,Lung Cancer,Prostate Cancer,Autism,Brain Cancer,Genetic disease,Epilepsy, Parkinson's disease,.. please contact my savior drituaherbalcenter@gmail.com or WHATSAPP number +2348149277967..

    ReplyDelete
  12. Good day everyone, two months ago I was diagnosed with (urethral cancer), which had caused me a great deal of pain and pressure on my bladder. My doctor insisted that there was no other choice but to go under the knife. So everyday I was online searching for herbal medication. I never want to undergo any surgery. so. I have so many testimonies on how they were healed by dr. Imoloa herbal medication. without wasting time i contacted him (dr. Imoloa). on how to get the herbal remedies. I received the herbal package in less than a month, and I followed the steps and procedure on how I should be taking it. and one months later I was scheduled for an ultrasound check: it was shocking. The cancer had completely gone, I had consulted my doctor and canceled the surgery and with your dedicated counseling guidance I managed to completely treat the urethral cancer, along with the pain and anxiety that this condition had inflicted on me. a big thanks to God almighty, thank you Dr. Imoloa for the powerful herbal medication you have to cure people. you reach him on Email- drimolaherbalmademedicine@gmail.com

    WhatsApp number- +2347081986098.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I’ve desired to post about something similar to this on one of my blogs and this has given me an idea. Private Tutor in Sunny Isles Cool Mat.

    ReplyDelete