Wednesday, January 11, 2017

Are Donkeys More Fun Than Cancer Patients?


Donkeys approach this pragmatically


I really don't have a lot of cancer research time. . . Sure, I could spend more hours per week getting really educated on latest developments and jamming off to cancer yoga classes etc.   But really. . . . Once us cancer patients get to the point to where there's not much time left. . . we get a bit quiet, we don't want to go to yoga or to whatever else is offered. We need to focus on the REAL stuff. We get a little introspective.

Terminal cancer people are in many ways like really old people, because they are facing death and can think about death seriously. "No, you're going to live forever!" is a nice family response and an appreciated sentiment. And we'll smile and hope for what you hope for, because you're so sweet. I have been on both sides now. . . I think both approaches, healthy and dying, need to listen above all else, and leave the contrary or expected sentiments silent. Real words and feelings that seek a voice despite stumbles are beautiful.

"Play Dead, Pickles!"
While our family are planning holidays, cancer folks are planning The Next Dimension, which is a far further stretch than "oh will we make the 9:40 train?"  

Give Us a Kiss, Honey!
My first glimpse of addressing our elderly was in England, where old age and confusion and care are just a normal part of family life, and everyone settles in at home.  Perhaps uncomfortably, but they all settle in anyway. "Gran" is here to stay. She might cuss from a chair in a corner while calling everyone by the wrong name but she's home.

When I was 8, we moved from Canada to England where the local primary school was the source of all of my friendships.  Most of my classmates had grandparents living with them.  Veterans from WWII. From my age, that meant odd grandpas (we were all warned in advance), and evening meals at my friends' houses of jam and bread. With Grandpa acting strangely.

In the USA, you never know.  In some families, caring for aging members is par for the course, but in other families, dealing with old age care is confusing to the younger set, so both parents and children are facing unsure outcomes, because they have no idea how the heck they are supposed to handle the many stresses involved. 

Cancer affects us all pretty severely.  The person you love, or the budding new mother, or the fun-loving child, is suddenly the sick, dependent person you didn't expect to have to care for this year. 

Would it be a social faux pas to say. . . Donkeys are Far more Fun?








18 comments:

  1. What a lovely chubby donkey!! Does he serve a purpose, other than being a pet?

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    1. Well. . . sure, we could train him to haul firewood or something. But first we'd have to make a harness. And a carry-sled. In short, we're too busy to keep our donkey busy, so his main job is to roam 5 acres in the company of goats. And to come when he's called, to be brushed for fun. Or to stand still for daughter's sparkly nail polish treatments. Or to have purple sparkle gel applied to his mane. He's actually OK with that. Way easier than Hauling wood!

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    2. This was just the kind of answer I was hoping for !! Lol nail varnish and sparkle gel!! He has a nice life by the sounds of things. xx

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    3. Our windows are all at donkey-head level so we can open a bedroom window, call him over, and give him pets and treats. VERY fun!

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  2. Pickles is the smartest one around..lounging in the sun and soaking up those good rays...Better than we have been experiencing in the past few days...I wonder..do animals contemplate their lives??? Some like Pickles have the easy road.some not so easy...but do they care or just take advantage of every good moment and especially good treats!!! Take advantage of all the good ones...think like Pickles and enjoy the good moments and be ready for the next good one....

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  3. I got your postcard...thank you!! I adore horses and it must be wonderful to see them all the time. Hope you're doing well. Xoxo

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  4. Not a day goes by where I dont think of you cousin. I offer prayers for you when I pray my rosary and pray that Mother Mary and Jesus will come to you and bring comfort to you and your family...wish I could visit Love cousin David

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  5. Thank you, cuz! Drop me a note. . .I don't have your address! Love to M,C, A, and C too!

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  6. Thought of you today and still love to read your blogs when I can. I am caring for my Dad who has COPD. He looks like a spider's had him with his floppy muscles and papery skin. Not sure how long he has left but I wouldn't have it any other way. It's tough and busy with so much to organise to 'get his affairs in order'. Writing a book called COPD and Me about my journey and with help to support families and sufferers. Having your family near physically or in spirit is so important. I hope you are not having too hard a time. Big hugs x

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    1. Thank you Sally! Your book promises to be very helpful!

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  7. I got your new postcard. So cool about Jackie O...lol. You might have seen on my blog that I've been making hearts on canvas as a creative outlet. I'd love to mail you one!

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  8. Hmmm. . . your blog hasn't been notifying me of updates! I wouls LOVE to have one of your hearts!
    I'll send my address in the mail!

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  9. this one was difficult to read - not for any emotional reasons just the enormous distraction of pickles! Give him a huge cuddle for me x

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    1. Will do! I'll mark you up for
      "Donkeys ARE more fun = 1"
      Oh my goodness I have no idea how I could have raised children without enormous distraction of farm animals!

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