Saturday, January 16, 2016

Clincal Trials: Are We Mice or Men? (Or Women Who Just Enjoy a Really Good Roquefort?)

I was horrified today to hear about the clinical trial recipients in France who were recently disabled or became brain-dead from participating in a clinical trial, and my heart goes to them and their families.

I started my Second clinical trial 4 days ago.

When it comes to clinical trials, there are "Phases".  Phase One is "first human to try it out after some success with the animals."  Since diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer, I was under the impression that Phase One trials were for people who were just about to die, and who looked at trials from the perspective of "Why Not?" 
I was shocked to learn that healthy people were used for these Phase One French studies. There are LOADS of dying people who would volunteer for a painkiller study--why'd the Rennes scientists use 'healthy' people? 

My own clinical trial treatment options are Phase 3 (or 4?). Meaning that these anti-cancer drugs seem to be working very well in earlier studies, and now need only more numbers/volume to prove themselves to get accepted for general prescribed use. 
Cancer patients don't get placebos: Jeepers, how cruel would THAT be? ("Oh, sorry, it was just SUGAR! No wonder you died!" )
But somewhere, at sometime, there was a Phase One trial user for any treatment I've had. It could have killed them. But it didn't, and I might live longer because the Cancer Person said "why not try it?" 
But I never really looked at it that way until today.  
I owe a lot of Brave People a big THANK YOU. But they're probably dead now (because of cancer, not because of the trial drug). So I thank their Caregivers, and I respect and deeply thank the Cancer People we lost so that I'm not dead yet. 

With a year and a half life expectancy, Phase One clinical trials have still never been offered to me, I'm considered to be too healthy for that. Thank goodness I'm in the USA, not France.


My First trial was a bit iffy. That drug was Avastin. Not a cancer-killing drug, more of a secondary-hope-it-will-delay-whatever-drug.  They were checking dosage, and had me on Avastin for ages. I guess to see how long it would take for patient failure? I don't know. 
I took it until my joints were so sore I was almost crippled. So the doctor took me off of it. 
But what was a little eerie was that, as I was taken off the trial by doctor's orders, the drug company never asked . . ."Did the issues resolve themselves? Did you recover?" You would hope that those would be questions, but there was never a follow-up. A year of physical therapy got me over the side effects, but maybe taking Avastin gave me that year?  I doubt it.  
I think that drug falls under the Bad Boyfriend rule of forgetting to call after they completely f. . . . . .
So my new, Second, clinical trial is MEK.  Not  Em-Ee-Kay,  but "mek" like "blech" or "wreck" or "I'm-going-to-be-seck."  It's targeted specifically to low-grade ovarian cancer people. Apparently, low-grade ovarian cancer is REALLY RARE. And all of you higher-grade ovarian cancer readers are in WAY better shape and circumstances than me. Take heart! 

But speaking of which, MEK can have effects on the heart, so they take regular EKG scans. 

"Echo Cardio Gram." explained the nurse.
"So what does the "K" stand for?" I asked.

Thinking. . .Thinking hard. . . Blank.
"I don't know," she said.
My life is in their hands. At least they're fun.

(You can't tell by the dramatic EKG photo, but it was quite relaxing and somewhat humorous. All the facial close-ups that my hubby took showed my double chin too much as I was laughing a lot so I'm posting a distance shot).

  
MEK can also affect your eyes. 
It may cause my retinas to peel off or something like that. 
It's a clinical trial. . . should I assume that the Phase 2 recipients lost sight for me to know about the retina risks? How do I right those sacrifices? Somebody experienced that for it to be logged as a risk. . .

Medical records are private. So when will clinical trials patients start their own bulletin boards for voicing effects and personal results? All it takes is someone to set it up who is Not Dead Yet.
(Uh oh, is that me? Help!)

So the MEK study pays for extremely frequent eye exams. My baseline was good. For now.  If my retinas disintegrate, I'll be blind. But anyone who has ever seen the 5 Blind Boys of Alabama play live knows that there are far worse things in life than to be blind, and we just go take it from there.


So far, this MEK is not bad at all. I just take pills twice a day. It's an appetite suppressant. You'd think that terminal cancer, possible heart failure and potential near-future blindness would suppress one's appetite but surprisingly they don't.  (NE14XNsalsa?)  But MEK does.

I just weighed in at 192 lbs when my "good normal" is 165 lbs. Even my kilos-readers can skip the math and visualize those extra layers of FAT (eeew!) 
Chemo CAN be fattening for some of us, but I attribute it mainly to the surgically-induced menopause. . . (can I salvage sexuality while feeling like a neutered cat?)
I have had no problem eating for a year, still don't, but now after starting the MEK I just have no particular desire to eat. YAY!  Back to Normal!  Taking the Zippy Greyhound back to Skinnyville!

Yesterday, I felt really yucky, so I chose the anti-nausea pill that makes me sleepy, because I had a dental appointment. Ta-da! Groggy though the whole thing, I didn't much notice the dentist's noisy drill. Hubby drove both ways, I lost a day but gained a filling. Love these cancer drugs.
During that day my stomach was asleep but my tastebuds needed a little something and got it. They call it "Culpeper Crack" because it's so addictive. It truly is. It's a butter-cheese-salty-creamy combo only sold in a small town 60 miles from here (conveniently halfway to my cancer center). The deli sells cheeses from a lovely Roquefort to Irish cheddars to cranberry chevres. But the 'Culpeper Crack' beats them all. One taste stopped any "cancer wasting" I was enjoying. I had seconds and thirds. And I searched my fridge for the rest of it the next morning, but hubby had finished it.   

Perhaps we should initiate clinical trials to show the effects of good cheeses on cancer patients. We might enjoy some very positive results.

What? You want to see the 5 Blind Boys of Alabama too? Try this link. .
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bCfqS7HgAY0

18 comments:

  1. Love your post though it's beyond a bummer that you are going through this. Thank you for being a trial recipient to help others and I pray that it helps you Leslie. I have a friend, Don Gage, that battled Stage 4 Melanoma and with many trials he is one of the few now that has gone into remission. He wrote his stories as "Hell Boy" describing everything the trial drugs did to his skin and body including turning everything fire engine red and all the other side effects. As he battled it we were on the path along with him. He is in remission and doing well though checked regularly.

    Your blog, "Not Dead Yet", is inspiring and I am praying, dancing to the powers above, and thinking positive thoughts for you Leslie. I'll give you a call this week. Your young pigeons should be ready this week. Take care my dear friend and keep embracing each day as we all should be doing as each day is a blessing for all of us. Sending you big hugs! Love, Vee

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    1. Veezee! "Bummer" for everyone else. For me, it's just ME. One of my kids has ears that kind of stick out but that's just life and it's no biggy. Mostly I feel the same for my off-beat cancer cells. Except for the off-times when I don't. And that's when I need you guys 100%. Thank you.
      Your comments are helpful to more people than me.
      Each day IS a blessing. But is that meaning, "Each Day Alive"? I believe the blessings are not only for people who are Not Dead Yet. I believe they go further. . .

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  2. Thank you Vee! I didn't mention that another side effect of MEK is a pimply, poison-ivy-type rash all over ones face. . . almost guaranteed. So far, so good, though.
    I'll be the masked woman at your door demanding birds who are bred to succeed at surreptitious border-crossings. . .

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  3. Wonderful comment, veezeeone. (That was tough to say. Autocorrect wanted you to be "geese eons".) Leslie, I was relieved to find that they don't use control sugar pills or saline solution in your trials. That would be too cruel.
    I was reminded of Lance Armstrong's story of his cancer treatment in "It's Not About the Bike". He had low odds too. He was in the hospital for a considerable time. He mentioned to a visitor how a little apple "pie" from the store across the street was the only thing that seemed to tempt his taste buds any more. After the word got out, every visitor would stop at the little store to bring him a tasty treat. You can guess how long it took for his body to lose all interest rate in apple pie-lets.
    Beware revealing the miraculous properties of Culpepper Crack lest ye be flooded with toothsome delight!

    Smoochies, (no, AutoCorrect, not "smoothies".)

    Lynn

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  4. Ai Chi Wah --- Lets Party. I volunteered for a clinical trial several yeas ago but backed out after I read the fine print. They test animals a long time before testing humans.

    There's probably tens of thousands of people involved in clinical tests. I'm really too old for any of that that now....old age ain't for sissy's.

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  5. Yup, the fine print can be a "little" daunting!

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    1. The Club Nitro straight across the street from the Disgruntled Arms in Tulsa is still there. Last weekend the Brain Lesions played there. I miss that little crib. That was a bizarre episode in our life.

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  6. Hope your retinas are still OK. Pretty squeamish thinking of you with floppy flappy things in your eyes. You're very brave and have a 'heck, I'll give anything a go' attitude and that's admirable. You sound like you might be turning into a hippie (minus hair). I hope the good times outweigh the bad x

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    1. Thank you, Sally!
      Retinas OK so far, in again tomorrow for another check (at least they're checking them regularly, yeah?)
      Good times definitely outweigh the bad, and thank you for asking!
      Part of the lovely bits of life are feeling the caring of other people, and I'm feeling yours. Thank you. cc to Pearly Gates.
      Hair's growing back (ooh! 2mm long! Will star in shampoo commercials in no time ate all!) Sigh. . . thank you for being on my side.
      So. . . can I return the favor for you?
      If I'm raw and open, can you be, too?
      (and if not I'm at scigoats@gmail.com)

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    2. Good to hear you're good and please carry on the good work for a feel good day. I felt the need to tell my thirteen year old I had taken magic mushrooms when I was 20. God knows why I did that. Hey Ho. My Dad is 80 on 19th March and he wasn't going to celebrate it. Sorry, but he is wallowing in a bit of self pity. I have just come off the phone with him and managed to persuade him to come here for a family and friend get together for such an important day. He has outlived his three brothers which I know is tough. Still, celebrating this big birthday is something we all want to share. I wish he had your balls. His must has shrunk to mouse sized :-) x Will mail if I need a wail and likewise on sally.nilsson@gmx.com

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    3. Yay! Happy Birthday, Sally's Dad!

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  7. You are the best memory of my life. I wanna do all of it again. Nothing ever changed my life like you did.

    A several prominent Univ. now have pre-med classes on food as medicine. Interns take cooking classes so instead of saying "lose weight" they give patients a menu.

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    1. I need suggestions for vegetarian child-friendly (read: colorful and heavy on carbs, with no "eeew what's this?" value") food with flavor. We did good this week with Gobi Aloo, but. . .

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    2. Sorry, I don't got none - I cain't cook so I do organic lettuce by the bowl with Greeek vinaigrette

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  8. Hi Leslie! I never read a blog before & yours is great! I bet you have always been a fun person, right? I clicked on your blog from the SCIGoats website-we've emailed back & forth a few times about castration, maybe you remember. My goats are doing well--a doeling born 3 months ago & another baby due soon. I will name it Leslie.

    I subscribed to your blog. (I'm so computer-illiterate that I was surprised that I managed to.) You write so well & think so clearly. I worry about death all the time even though I am healthy as far as I know...just getting old, but not quite old enough to be OK with it. Reading your blog was encouraging-I can't wait for your next post!

    love,

    Catharina

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    1. Catherina!
      I'm still here for you for goat castration help.
      Funny, ovarian cancer IS a type of castration. I'll be addressing that topic on a blog soon.
      I am so honored to have your goat named after me. Thank you.

      I agree about the blog stuff! Totally new medium for me, too. Scarey? Maybe. Weird? Sort of. But just like goats, you get a gut feeling, like you need to be there, and if you're brave, there you are.

      Feed your fear of death into creating a positive place for your goats. Know what can kill them and work with that to prevent those deaths. Focus on the goats while you focus on your own personal health. (start with a bubble bath).

      You ARE going to be a great breeder. You just don't know it yet.

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  9. J's nursing response was that an EEG (electroencephalograph) and an ECG (electrocardiograph) sounded so similar on the phone, that ECG became EKG for audio clarification, but that younger nurses may not be aware of that. Makes sense! Thank you, J!

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